#listentounderstand

Have you hashtagged, commented upon or otherwise shared the quote below via a social media post?

„Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”

In the weeks of June 2014, the above quote by the late Dr. Stephen Covey (1932-2012) was trending as a share via social media networks. It may sound like common sense, but many of us know that common sense ain’t so common!

Council – listening to understand

This article offers guidance on one way to practice listening to understand. It’s called “Council.” Also known as „Circle Process,” the tradition is said to have been practiced by various indigenous peoples dating back to ancient times. Dr. Covey—“principle-centered leadership” author whose popular 1989 book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, has sold more than 15 million copies in 38 languages to date—is not associated with the Council practice.

What is Council?

“Council” describes a process of dialogue in which people contribute personal stories or thoughts related to a given topic. At the core of Council wisdom are stories that help connect people in ways that opinions cannot. In Council, unlike listening to respond, “We are engaged emotionally as well as mentally. This different kind of listening allows information to be exchanged more thoroughly, leading to much greater understanding between people” (Pranis, p.39). In a fast-paced environment of real-world business rationale, Council offers something different— logic achieved collectively through deliberate, deep thought and deep listening. Participants of a Council sit in a circular formation; hold a “talking piece” when speaking to the group; each session is led by a Council leader.

The four Intentions 

During each Council event, all respect four intentions, including:

• Speak from the heart;
• Listen from the heart;
• Be of lean expression (meaning, „keep it short”);
• Be spontaneous.

Some call it “heartwork.”

Council in the Workplace

As a mode of workplace communication, the unique benefit of the Council process is that it connects people with one another so that well-informed next steps can be made. Council helps provide a safe space to disclose one’s own and discover others’ voices on a variety of matters. The process can be used on a regular basis, or to mark milestones. For example, Council can be used as a tool to facilitate a number of immediate and long-term goals: conflict resolution, transparent communication, increased employee engagement, processing of a difficult conversation or work transition, etc. Council has the power to bring people together around a common purpose, and can be especially useful to align well-meaning intentions with well-received communication.

Yes, it’s an unconventional workplace practice. Yet, thinking differently about the same thing is what gives us a competitive advantage in all other areas of business.

The Role of Silence

Silence is an essential part of deep listening. Council participants speak one at a time while holding a talking piece. While one person speaks, the others listen in attentive silence. The “speaker” may even choose silence as their contribution to the dialogue. When we intentionally listen to— or listen for— the silence, we can practice hearing the meaning that silence brings to dialogue.

Saving an Extra Seat

A simple yet effective action to acknowledge others who may not be in the circle is allowing for an extra space in the circle. Literally, one additional chair, pillow, etc. is included among a circle of people practicing Council. The purpose of allowing for this extra space can be to represent a regular participant who is absent; acknowledge perspectives that are not represented within the circle, or otherwise.

If it’s not the default communication style of you and your colleagues, a culture of deep listening is possible through practice. Council offers a practical way to exercise the intention of listening to understand. Try it— and share your story with us!

What experiences with Council might you share?

Click here to share your contribution for inclusion in an upcoming intercultures e-newsletter. When posted, any identifying details of those experiences shared will be made anonymous.

Resources to learn more about Council:

• Hanh, Thich Nhat. (1993). The Fourth Precept: Deep Listening and Loving Speech. Reproduced from For a Future to Be Possible: Commentaries on the Five Wonderful Precepts.Berkeley, CA: Parallax Press.
• Pranis, K. (2005). The Little Book of Circle Processes. Intercourse, PA, United States: Good Books.
• Zimmerman, J. a. Council. (O. Foundation, Ed.) United States.
• Zimmerman, J. a. (2009). The Way of Council. Las Vegas, NV, United States: Bramble Books.

The following article was included in the June 2014 intercultures e-newsletter.

Picture credit title picture: Getty Images.